The Secret Formula of Getting What One Wants – Just \”Give\”!
Here is the secret to get what one wants. It is just giving. The reasons for it are based on the well-known philosophical dictum ”Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The egg, and the chicken that is born out of it, create the circle of life, and form the basis for a profound comparison for attaining and giving what one wants: the circle of joy. This brilliant concept is analyzed in the clear voice and lucid prose of Masami Sato, the author of the book named ONE.
As human beings, most of us have yearnings for different kinds of things. And of course, the fundamental principles of economics tell us that while needs are unlimited, resources are not. This makes us think that the more resources we have, the more yearnings we would be able to satisfy. As such we tend to safeguard our resources. We would then feel that giving away these resources or splitting it between many would lessen the portion that can be used to get what we desire. This is the conventional win-lose strategy that is being played out.
Could it be true, then?
What if the answer turns out to be ”no”? What if it in fact contradicts the secret of attaining more? What if the secret of attaining more is in itself simple – by giving more?
One can get something just by giving something else. Exactly the way one can have eggs by raising chickens. As simple as that. Normal. Automatic. And it is a completely joyful experience.
First of all, let us begin with some analogy to explain things.
Chicken and Egg: the Cosmic Circle of Life
Philosophers have asked this question since the dawn of time, ”Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”
The answer to this riddle is simple. It actually does not matter which came first, as both eggs and chicks are already here. Still, if we want to get better results, we can choose to start somewhere.
Giving and Receiving: the Cycle of Joy
What happens, if we pose a different question? ”Which comes first, giving or receiving?”
Again, if we want a better outcome, we should choose to start somewhere. Giving off things to others is certainly easier than striving to get it first!
What happens when we try to get it first?
If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.
But the actual result of ’trying to get’ is mostly not ample and actual long term benefits.
For example, wanting to see others being happy is not about getting the joy from them or controlling them to become happy. It is about how much joy we can give them and share with them. Period.
So where do we start to get what we want?
By starting from the other end of the circle- by giving generously!
When we start giving before we even have what we hope to get – that which we dream of – we are sending out a powerful message to ourselves which tells us, ’there is enough, and more will come.’ It allows us to sense the joy today – the joy of giving.
All that is required of us is to give out the love in abundance to others. It would somehow come back to us. Giving love is the only way to be completely loved. When we recognize others for the big things they do and great credentials they have, again it would come back to us. Others accept us because we accept them.
In the same manner, if we want to have plenty in our life materially, financially, and mentally, we have to share in full measure with others, what we want.
Some are ready to give more physical things like time. Others opt to give what they can spare financially, like money. Those who give more (time, money, compassion, love, thoughts) have these things in abundance because it is the surplus. And surplus is the natural law of life.
Just remember the rule of the game
Important rule: never give anything expecting a return.
When we have the anticipation that giving involves ’getting’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!
Losing to succeed, giving to receive.
It may initially feel like we are losing out. Yet at some level we know that getting without giving is not a sustainable life model. And we’ve known that from the very beginning. That’s why tithing has been such a natural part of the lives of many successful people. And they didn’t always do it publicly so it wasn’t done to gain a better reputation. It was just because that was the way it was.
Take a look around. ’Simpler’ living things do it naturally. The bumblebees pollinate the flowers as they receive the honey so more flowers bloom in abundance. Naturally. That’s the game. They do not do it for conscience or justice. That is why they create such sustainability without even trying.
Giving to another is just a role of who we are, it is the same as having; nothing more, nothing less. No confusion, no strings attached, just letting go easily.
The real secret of getting more can be summarised in two steps: Give first, and do not expect anything in return.
When we let go and give open-handedly, what we require would come to us. On its own.
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