What are we searching for?

There are many things we do in our life.

But have we ever thought about why we do what we do? What are we really looking for?

The world throngs with millions of people of all races, religions, and belief systems, doing myriad things. People look different from each other and behave differently. We have widely varying interests and outlook on life. We communicate in different ways, because we use different languages. We have different hopes and emotions.

However, if we were to say there is just ONE thing we are ALL looking for, what would it be?

While I journeyed all over the world, I asked people a seemingly straightforward question, \”What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?\”

At first, it looked as if people were in search of different things, as they gave casual answers like \”A nice partner\”, \”Good job\”, \”My own house\”, \”A loving family\”, \”A perfect mate\”, \”More money\”, \”Financial Freedom\”, \”Peace of mind\”, or \”Meaning of life\”. There were other similar answers as well.

I noticed that while some of these were temporal, and more related to day-to-day needs, others were of a more spiritual nature. We yearn for temporal desires because we do not as yet have it, or don\’t feel that we have it yet. As different from this, spiritual desire is not about getting things we do not have. It is about a \’feeling\’ we look for, which does not end no matter what we manage to achieve at every moment of our life.

If we removed all the temporal desires from out list and only looked at the permanent desires, it is so obvious that we simply want to continue feeling positive feelings like excitement, enjoyment, inspiration, motivation, generosity, love, joy etc.-in another way, we want to stay being happy.

Happiness

Contentment is a state of emotion that all of us are yearning to be in. Each of us may define it differently. We may also value it differently. Each of us may be familiar with different levels of intensity of contentment. Still we definitely have something in common when contentment comes to us. And when we realize this secret about contentment, we hold the key to greater contentment, and to make those around us know the same feelings as well.

Life is a mystery we are all living in. We all may love it in our own special ways. We may despise it in different ways. We may question it. We may treasure it. Or we may just have it, accept it, indifferently. But what is the purpose of our lives? What if the secret of our existence is so near? What if the secret actually brings us happiness and contentment when we discover it?

What if the essence of the aim of our lives, and its joys, is as simple as this:

It is all about bonding.

Bonding is everything

Everything depends on bonding. All things are part of some other things. A look at our own lives would say it all. Then we will begin to see the real purpose of life.

Why do we do anything, ANYTHING at all, in life as humans?

It is just because we want to connect to others. We make friends to build a relationship. We get married to establish a relationship in a deeper and more permanent manner. We create a family to further strengthen that relationship. We go out to meet more people to connect with them, not only to get benefits out of those relationships, but also to become more connected to the world.

We buy nice clothes and go to a hairdresser to feel more connected to our sense of aesthetics and to our own physical beauty. We eat a variety of food to feel more connected to our sense of taste and smell. We dine out to feel connected to the people we share the meals with. We buy mobile phones and computers to connect with others and the world. We read newspapers and magazines to stay connected to what is happening and what others are doing and feeling. We study and learn to connect with what others know and value.

All that we do is done to satisfy the need for that bonding. If we have no bonds with our own body, we do not even need to sleep or eat. Our bonds to all our senses tell us to do certain things to satisfy the demands that the body makes. If we disregard these pleas of our body, we feel pain and discomfort. And over and above our basic needs, we search for a bonding of a loftier type – the bonding to our existence – the bonding to our purpose. And without those bonds, it is just bare. Just like the barrenness many of us feel within when we have no bonds even to ourselves. It is just not the right way we are supposed to live our lives.

Relationship is powerful, and yet it\’s fragile and tender..

When we cannot feel the intimacy in a relationship, we opt for separation, divorce, quarrels, judgement, and disapproval. It never feels good to lose the intimacy in a relationship. Nevertheless, it is possible to fall in love with someone one day and fall out of love with the same person the next day. The feeling can alter just by a flick of a finger. And the flick might be by your finger or theirs!

When we feel disconnected

When the bonds are not there, we perceive problems all over. We start seeing disparities and obstacles. We begin passing judgement on others and reproaching them. We blow up, focus on and strengthen those things that we perceive as problems. When that happens, we might even turn all that negativity inwards and cause ourselves hurt and injury. We cannot feel completely happy when we have severed the bonds with even just one thing.

Bonding: the Secret to Happiness

What about if we looked at the whole concept in reverse? When we do that we discover this simple truth: we cannot feel unhappy when we are feeling totally connected. It\’s impossible!

Try to feel unhappy when we\’re feeling connected to the people around us and laughing and sharing wholeheartedly together. Even when we have so-called \’problems\’ in life, we can still laugh together and feel happy and positive when we are feeling connected. At the same time, it is very difficult to enjoy anything if we\’re not feeling connected.

Connection: Our Life

Bonding is the core of all things. That is what life is about. Bonding.

Everything is a mere collection of smaller parts. Everything connects together to form a greater unit; like our bodies are collections of smaller parts, organs, cells, atoms and molecules.

Our acts and the choices we make are the manifestations of our need for bonding. We are designed to persistently search ways to bond to each other and to a larger rationale.

Connection and Religion

Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.

Connection and Business

Many people begin an enterprise to feel better bonded to themselves by being in control of their fate. But often in the entrepreneurial world, we end up being more and more segregated especially when we start viewing other ventures as contenders, staff as instruments and customers as a money flow. But the basic point of why we got into the venture was to feel the power of that bonding. So, why do we need to fashion that disconnection at all? May be in the perfect world, all business ventures worked differently, but hand in hand.

Relationship and Wars

Some of us even create arguments or wars to experience some sense of \’victory\’ or supposedly a greater sense of security and significance. But ironically, this rebounds. The moment we \’win\’ the battle, we are actually more disconnected from others. We now need more security to protect ourselves from being attacked by others. We somehow end up being more insecure and afraid. We can\’t laugh at this because it actually happens to almost every one of us in different ways.

It could be the disagreements we have with the people around us. It may be the wrong assessment we make when we feel that something or someone is not right. When we make an attempt to be the only one to succeed, we can never succeed in the real way – we feel not connected. We can really enjoy the success when we succeed along with others. Then we will feel the strength of the relationship.

Despite the varied ways in which our needs are expressed, everything we do is to satisfy the yearning we have to feel and have a strong relationship.

The real sense of connection comes only through our heart. We can connect with anybody when we are truly caring for them and feeling connected with them. If we know this, creating the desired state is actually simple, easy and fun. Then we would naturally experience more happiness and joy.

Life is a sport. We feel things and do things in a grand game but in reality the aim of any game is the pleasure we get out of it. It is not about doing something or having something. When the sports finally end, the winners are only the ones who have derived pleasure from the game. Not the ones who had more at the final tally. The upshots and end results of the sports in which we participate do not affect our actual life. But if we lost all our friends to participate in a game just because we wanted to win in that round, would it lead us to a lasting victory?

It is so easy to understand this in the example of playing a game, but we often become blind in our own everyday game called life. We forget so easily that it is also just a game.

We have no idea when this game began and when it would be over, all that we know is that it commenced in the past and that it will be over one day. When finally the umpire blows the whistle to stop the game, we can simply say, \”Wow, it was a lot of fun. Let us play once again!\”

In this game called life, the aim of the game is to \’connect\’. We can keep connecting until we all become one. It is the only way to continuously feel connected to our purpose-sense of happiness and joy. We cannot feel disconnected to anything or deny and judge even one thing if we are to achieve the state of total connection.

Life is as easy as that. There is only ONE secret.

And the secret is to connect.

To become ONE.

To find pleasure.

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Given below is a mythological story from Japan about the beauty of giving to others and it tells us how we can receive the most perfect gifts when we\’re giving and grateful of what we own.

Here is the story.

A long time ago, there lived a penniless young farmer. Nothing that he did turned out to be profitable. He was completely impoverished without any money, without anyone to help and nothing to eat. One night, totally at his wit\’s end, he went to a shrine and sat near the altar and pleaded to Gods to show him what to do.

\”I have always been truthful and assiduous, but all my industry never resulted in anything good for me. What did I do wrong?\”

He fell asleep near the altar just after he put the question. When he woke up in the morning, he saw in front of him one of the Gods he had seen in his dream, with a bright golden light around him. The God\’s voice reverberated in his mind.

\”When you wake up in the morning, cherish what you have in your hand and go on giving it to others liberally as you proceed,\” the God commanded.

The farmer woke up. He still had many questions jumping through his mind but he lifted himself up and tried to shake off the strangely vivid dream he just had. To his surprise, he saw a piece of straw in his hand. Maybe it was on his clothes after the long day of fieldwork.

He was about to throw the straw away, but remembered what God had told him. Once again he sat down. Then he looked curiously at the bit of straw.

He sat still for a long time thinking what this meant. He had no clue why a piece of straw can be of any value to him. Then he saw a wasp flying around. It eventually landed on the tip of the straw. He caught the wasp and tied it to the straw with a piece of thread from his clothes. Now with a piece of straw with a flying wasp at the end, off he went on the path.

He had proceeded only a bit when he saw a woman and her child coming from the opposite direction. The child was crying. When he wished them, the boy saw the straw in the farmer\’s hand with a wasp dangling at the end. The child was curious and asked the farmer if he could have it. He was about to refuse when he remembered how God had told him to cherish what he had and also at the same time to give to others what he had. So he offered the straw to the child. The mother became happy since the child stopped crying because of the gift. In return for the straw the lady gave the man three tangerines.

The farmer continued on. And as he walked, he began feeling a little hungry. He thought of eating the tangerines but he reminded himself it was about giving the gift to others, not to himself.

He had to climb a steep hill and there he saw a trader sitting on the earth under a tree. Near the man was a wooden box. The farmer wished the trader who seemed to be very tired. The trader saw the tangerines the farmer had and asked if he could have them. The trader said he was very thirsty.

The farmer was also quite thirsty having walked for a long time during the heat of the day but he offered all the tangerines to the merchant. The merchant ate the three tangerines and regained his strength. He was very grateful for the kindness of the farmer and opened the wooden box next to him. There were rolls of hand dyed silk fabric. The merchant handed him one roll, thanked him and walked off.

The farmer proceeded again through the same route. He finally found a rivulet from which he drank water and felt restored. He felt more energetic and comfortable and went on.

He continued to walk for a long time but did not see anyone again. So he decided that the silk could be what would bring him luck. He felt he should go to the town nearby and try to sell the silk.

But just as he went around the corner, he saw in front of him a band of fighters. One of the fighters who looked liked the head of the band stood near a horse that was lying on the earth. The farmer heard the leader talking to his men.

\”This horse would not last long. We just have to leave it. Just take care of it and catch up.\” He jumped up on another horse and galloped off disappearing out of sight.

The other warriors were left talking to each other about what to do. They did not want to kill the horse but there seemed to be no other choice. One of them finally drew his sword.

The farmer ran to them and requested them to refrain from killing it. He opted to care for the animal. In return for that he gave them the bolt of silk he had. They were happy of the offer and went away fast.

With the dying horse by his side, the farmer just remained there. He wondered if he had done things wrongly and whether he would never become rich. Suddenly he remembered the river he had seen on the way.

He turned back and went to the river, removed his shirt and immersed it in the river to get water for the horse. He went back to the animal lying on the earth and pressed the water out of the shirt gently into its mouth. As the water went inside drop by drop, the animal slowly got recharged and finally the farmer was able to help it stand up.

Once the horse was up the farmer was able to lead it to the river. The animal drank to its satisfaction and there was also green grass nearby that it could feed on. With both that the horse became fully recharged.

So now the farmer owned the horse! The man and the animal traveled together, and the farmer had to run as the horse led the way. They traveled together for miles. Finally, as the sun was setting, the horse came to a halt in front of a big house. The animal pushed the farmer towards the gate when he finally drew level with it.

As the farmer approached the gate, the doors swung open and to his surprise, an old man appeared. The old man was rushing outside and was looking a little pale. He noticed the farmer and the horse standing by the gate.

The old man asked the farmer what it was that he needed. The farmer said that he wanted a place where he could sleep at night. The old man queried the farmer if he would mind looking after the house till his return as he had to leave for the nearby town on a pressing matter. He also said that it might take some time for him to return.

Since the old man appeared to be in a hurry, the farmer said that he can use the horse. The old man felt glad about the gesture and accepted the offer. He left with the horse but before he left told the farmer something strange.

\”If I am not back in three years, this house becomes yours.\”

As you perhaps inferred, the old man did not return.

So the farmer lived happily ever after in the old man\’s big house with kind-hearted neighbours around and a land rich in good crops. He always kept in mind the rule that he should give to others what he had.

I am grateful to you for reading this story. And how did you feel about it?

Perhaps there is a secret to things. When we can turn the business of getting into the business of giving, our life gushes forward with greater plentitude. Still it might not be easy to incorporate into practical life this age old wisdom.

Given below are the remarkable factors that we can glean from the story:

* When we are willing to provide what others want, their value for it enhances more than when we are trying to \’barter\’ it (as mostly we hope to get something out of it) since they compare the price with what we expect for it and would obviously pay less.

* When we are not attached to the things we have, we often find that we attract better opportunities as we can let go of existing ones.

* When what life offers is not a bed of roses, instead of concentrating on the difficulty if we kept our attention on giving and sharing, life is sure to bring in good things later.

* When we try to \’cash in\’ what we have built up, thinking that \”this is the best it gets\”, because we think we may lose out it if we do not cash in now, our life\’s growth often ends there. What if instead, we continued to be giving generously no matter what we owned or how physically wealthy we were or were not.

Gifting is an inherent part of the lives of most winners. When we are ready to give first, we have better chances of living a life of perfection, ease and growth.

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When the financial market is unstable worldwide, the first reaction of most people is to hold on to what they have and also cut costs. They also presume that practically everyone is doing the same thing, as that is the impression that newspapers create.

However, each and every person ISN\’T doing so. There are sections of the society which prosper, come what may. Those, who feel surprised about this odd equation, can find the clue for it in a most obvious place where they might have missed it. It might be worthwhile to analyse it together.

Whenever there is a downward trend, whatever it is, the best way to overcome it is by rising higher than it. If we drift with the wind and go where it takes us, we might find ourselves in dire straits, waiting for the wind\’s mercy for deliverance.

The fact is that when we know our strength and can hold sway over ourselves, we can rise above the mundane and not worry about what is going on all around. Let us visualise it properly.

\’Go-getters\’ or \’Go-contributors\’

Let\’s say we want more – more profits, a pay raise, more holidays, more freedom, and more opportunities.

When we want something, the first thing we tend to do is to go and get it. So, we call ourselves \’Go-getters\’. And being a \’go-getter\’ is, let\’s face it, a sign of leadership, activism and an early-adopter mindset. This is of course one of the keys to the success formulae we often read about. But there is a problem. It turns out that when we use this \’strategy\’, there are some unexpected (but quite predictable) consequences.

The crux of the problem is that after \’getting\’ and \’owning\’ a thing, what eventually happens is \’dropping\’ it. We either actually throw it away or become indifferent to it.

And when we are tired of one thing we concentrate on getting something new. And these fresh cravings never end. The more we go in search of newer things, the wider the chain of desire that makes us continuously yearn for things. It simply becomes an addiction!

Why don\’t we turn our \’getting\’ into contributing?

Most of you are aware that the act of providing gives a sense of fulfillment. This ensues from gratefulness and not from panic or avarice. A person can go on providing more and receive more and know full satisfaction in the voyage of life.

Our generous and giving attitude creates generous and giving customers and team members while our price consciousness and \’getting attitude\’ attracts precisely those types of customers and team members. And they\’re the very ones we don\’t want!

Inspiring capitalism

Many businesses see this now. They are now starting to give more and more in various ways. There\’s a veritable \’sea-change\’ going on as more people \’get\’ the role that giving can play in their business. Bill Gates is a class example. In a July 2008 lead article in TIME Magazine he referred to it as \’Creative Capitalism\’.

He opined that the idea of providing for others could become a crucial factor in encouraging people to buy one product rather than another.

What he\’s actually saying is that when a company links its business to giving in some way, that company and its products become more attractive to customers. It takes us way, way above what\’s been called \’the sea of sameness\’.

Creative Capitalism is about rising above what we reluctantly settle for to reach what we truly aspire to. When we can capitalise on our ideas and imagination in a way that benefits and nurtures the wider community and network; we stop wasting our resources, efforts and talents in trying to temporarily win. We start creating the real win for ourselves and for the sustainability of our global economy.

The appeal of effective giving

Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is the phrase that\’s often used to describe giving back at a corporate level. It\’s becoming almost a required part of corporate business practice. Yet when it\’s done out of a sense of obligation or with the intent to just make ourselves look good, people eventually get what it is. It still is a temporary strategy.

However, \’giving\’ people and businesses always attract more. The passions and beliefs behind what they do are shared with the people with whom they connect. They attract something beyond what the slick PR or marketing campaign provides.

What is likely to be the upshot if some of the capital meant for marketing is apportioned for contributions?

Giving gives rise to something greater than what we actually are. It has the power to inspire. And true inspiration is possible only when it echoes on the people whom we want to enthuse. And we are enthused only when we put our heart and soul into the procedure. It is simply not sufficient to listen to the interesting tales. One has to become part and parcel of the whole process. Everyone has this inclination to make one\’s own input – to one\’s immediate relatives, friends, and to the society at large.

Transaction-based giving causes it to happen on its own

The facility for contributing became so much simpler because of a programme (or one can say a \’development\’) called Buy1GIVE1 (Buy One Give One). Buy1GIVE1 is the heart of transaction-based giving. Transaction-based giving revolutionises things. Let us use our creativity and analyse how.

How wonderful is the situation where every time someone buys an ice cream, a child somewhere in an underprivileged country gets a cup of milk?

Imagine if every time you subscribed to a magazine you love, a tree got planted automatically just because you bought the magazine? Or every time you dine out, you fed a child in need? Automatically again.

Consider the scenario of someone attending a coaching session. It would be commendable if someone who needs similar coaching would get it as a direct consequence (and just at the cost of not more than 60 cents for the day\’s coaching).

Where a motivational speaker at a conference is connected with a charity, part of his income might go to helping kids who have speech problems due to facial defects. It will be a matter of great satisfaction for the participants at the conference to know that their very participation is helping a deserving cause.

Imagine the perfect scenario where transaction-based giving can be applied in one\’s own special manner to correspond with the available products and services to include every member of the group and customers. It is possible.

The actual winning economy

Business ventures, on a global basis, have already internalized the efficacy of this transaction-based giving. A case in point is TESCO, one of the foremost supermarket chains of UK. The company\’s programme ensures that a Kenyan child gets a school uniform when someone buys a pair of school trousers from them.

Mineral Water Company Volvic also rolled out their transaction-based giving program successfully last year. For every 1 litre of Volvic people buy, Volvic gives funds to build wells in Africa in a program they call Buy1 GIVE 10 (since every 1 litre sold essentially creates a flow of 10 litres in the well.

Lesser to middle level businesses have now begun to spearhead the movement of increasing the idea of global giving through Creative Capitalism. Buy1GIVE1 (www.b1g1.com), a Singapore-based Social Enterprise came up with a procedure that has turned this transaction-based giving into something each and every human being can be part of.

Buy1GIVE1 is the home of the most impactful transaction-based giving in the world because it connects any business of any size to any cause in the world. It\’s creating a global community of business givers and for SME`s, Buy1GIVE1 connects businesses, their customers AND charities in a way that hasn\’t been done before. And it all happens automatically.

You can enroll yourself as a citizen of this marvel of universal giving by simply getting a Buy1GIVE1 `VISA` directly from the Buy1GIVE1 site at www.b1g1.com. And if you are an entrepreneur, you can become a B1G1 Business through making an online application and choosing the requirement for which you would like to donate and your product or service through which you would prefer to do it to initiate the giving. Buy1GIVE1 forwards the whole of the donation to their international Worthy Cause Partners (with more than 528 projects to choose) making the giving entirely satisfactory.

Do you know?

* Half the population of the globe -about three billion people-is forced to survive on less than two dollars a day.

* Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their name.

* UNICEF has reported that more than 30,000 children die every day due to abject poverty, which makes it 20 child a minute and 210,000 a week.

* A mere 12 percent of the world\’s population uses 85 percent of its water; and these 12 percent do not live in the Third World.

* Medical aid is not available for one billion people of the world population.

* 63,000 square miles of rainforests are destroyed each year.

Statistic From Global Issues

Buy1GIVE1 Businesses- take a look at these examples

* Buy1BUILD1 (www.sunsplashhomes.com, www.arkgroup.com.au)

* Education to education (www.kipmcgrath.com.au)

* Medical practice providing medical benefits (www.primanora.com)

* Phone card to communication (www.ultimatecomms.com)

* Mind Expansion to curing (www.meditate.com.au)

* Shedding pounds to providing food for children (www.bodychain.com)

* Blind installation to lighting up schools (www.blindscouture.com.au)

* Socks for comfort to feet free of frostbite (www.socksforhappypeople.com)

* Learning to educating social organizers (www.b1g1forcoaches.com)

* And to get a complete picture, just go to www.b1g1.com.

Finding what we are looking for-Nature gives us the clue

So let\’s begin again from where we had set off-financial instability and succeeding in having what we need. The requirements are in reality quite clear-cut. It is just a triumvirate starting with the letter C – correlation, cooperation and community.

When we can collaborate instead of isolate and when we can create an effective way to add to each other instead of taking away from each other, we discover there is so much abundance and resource already available in our world. And when we connect, not just with each other but with our true selves, we discover something really interesting-that we\’re all ONE. Then we understand how easy it is to create a global community from something as simple as giving.

The secret was always alive in nature

In nature, bees and butterflies pollinate flowers and create sustainable flower gardens for many generations to thrive on. It\’s been in front of us all along!

When a fiasco inundates the world, it should be leveraged to turn it into a benefit to return to normalcy. Now is the time to acknowledge what we have got and forge ahead to succeed.

And when a person chooses to donate now itself, in spite of the financial crisis, he will feel more contended. And with this contentment he will find a hope that is rekindled anew, which will ring a bell on how the ebb and flow of things can change. Today\’s charity might be that which will reverse the flow.

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As human beings, most of us have yearnings for different kinds of things. And of course, the fundamental principles of economics tell us that while needs are unlimited, resources are not. This makes us think that the more resources we have, the more yearnings we would be able to satisfy. As such we tend to safeguard our resources. We would then feel that giving away these resources or splitting it between many would lessen the portion that can be used to get what we desire. This is the conventional win-lose strategy that is being played out.

Could it be true, then?

What if the answer turns out to be \”no\”? What if it in fact contradicts the secret of attaining more? What if the secret of attaining more is in itself simple – by giving more?

One can get something just by giving something else. Exactly the way one can have eggs by raising chickens. As simple as that. Normal. Automatic. And it is a completely joyful experience.

First of all, let us begin with some analogy to explain things.

Chicken and Egg: the Cosmic Circle of Life

Philosophers have asked this question since the dawn of time, \”Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?\”

The answer to this riddle is simple. It actually does not matter which came first, as both eggs and chicks are already here. Still, if we want to get better results, we can choose to start somewhere.

Giving and Receiving: the Cycle of Joy

What happens, if we pose a different question? \”Which comes first, giving or receiving?\”

Again, if we want a better outcome, we should choose to start somewhere. Giving off things to others is certainly easier than striving to get it first!

What happens when we try to get it first?

If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.

But the actual result of \’trying to get\’ is mostly not ample and actual long term benefits.

For example, wanting to see others being happy is not about getting the joy from them or controlling them to become happy. It is about how much joy we can give them and share with them. Period.

So where do we start to get what we want?

By starting from the other end of the circle- by giving generously!

When we start giving before we even have what we hope to get – that which we dream of – we are sending out a powerful message to ourselves which tells us, \’there is enough, and more will come.\’ It allows us to sense the joy today – the joy of giving.

All that is required of us is to give out the love in abundance to others. It would somehow come back to us. Giving love is the only way to be completely loved. When we recognize others for the big things they do and great credentials they have, again it would come back to us. Others accept us because we accept them.

In the same manner, if we want to have plenty in our life materially, financially, and mentally, we have to share in full measure with others, what we want.

Some are ready to give more physical things like time. Others opt to give what they can spare financially, like money. Those who give more (time, money, compassion, love, thoughts) have these things in abundance because it is the surplus. And surplus is the natural law of life.

Just remember the rule of the game

Important rule: never give anything expecting a return.

When we have the anticipation that giving involves \’getting\’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!

Losing to succeed, giving to receive.

It may initially feel like we are losing out. Yet at some level we know that getting without giving is not a sustainable life model. And we\’ve known that from the very beginning. That\’s why tithing has been such a natural part of the lives of many successful people. And they didn\’t always do it publicly so it wasn\’t done to gain a better reputation. It was just because that was the way it was.

Take a look around. \’Simpler\’ living things do it naturally. The bumblebees pollinate the flowers as they receive the honey so more flowers bloom in abundance. Naturally. That\’s the game. They do not do it for conscience or justice. That is why they create such sustainability without even trying.

Giving to another is just a role of who we are, it is the same as having; nothing more, nothing less. No confusion, no strings attached, just letting go easily.

The real secret of getting more can be summarised in two steps: Give first, and do not expect anything in return.

When we let go and give open-handedly, what we require would come to us. On its own.

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Why is it that many of us, (actually, most of us) now and then feel some sort of a barren sensation in our lives? It is like being ravenous. When we eat, we are satiated and become slightly indifferent to food. But after some time, we once again feel like having food. Then suddenly we are drawn again to the aroma and picture of food. We can also feel strange pangs of hunger when we are not actually craving for food – just after having eaten something. Some of us have a craving all the time.

Constant emotional hunger is not the most pleasant thing to have. Then, how can we live our lives to the fullest? How can we be more satisfied permanently?

Maybe the answer is simple: just live our lives as a whole. The word \’whole\’ holds the meaning of completion. Then the secret to live a complete life is simply to live it as a whole.

Let\’s start to look at one example of this \’wholeness\’ with something awfully close to our heart-our stomach.

Whole Food VS Semi Food

We are used to the usage \’whole food.\’ People say that taking whole food is the secret to the vigour and wellbeing that we require. How is whole food better than \’semi food?\’

A whole grain for example has a life. So, if you soak the whole grain in water, drain the next day and leave for a few days, it sprouts. It has a life of its own. When we eat such food, our body absorbs the full live nutrients. It has all the properties to cleanse, heal and nurture different body cells.

As in the example of a grain, most conventional dining includes having whole creatures as well. Having entire fresh fish used to be more popular than taking a portion of fish and throwing the balance away. It was ditto for poultry and also for vegetables.

\’Half food\’ sometimes has more sweetness and flavour but not much other nutrition. We like its taste, but we could develop a long-term illness if we only ate \’half food\’ every day of our life.

So, to balance the missing part, we started to take dietary supplements. We have been studying and researching for a long time to find the perfect balance. It gets more and more complicated as we chop the food up, preserve and transport, and even try to balance with other parts coming from different sources, regions and seasons. Some of the nutrients even come from non-food items. They are chemically generated. After analysis and testing, we approve it for human consumption. But no matter how hard we try; we cannot put all the \’bits\’ together to make it come alive.

Part Life-\’Sweetness\’ of Life

So, if we perceive our life now, much of what we are doing can be similar to eating the \’part food.\’ Just enjoying the sugariness of life but jettisoning the real nutritious part. And if we put our \’part life\’ in water with other pieces and left it in the sunlight, could it germinate and grow into a beautiful complete life?

Whole food is not (as some people perceive it) poor in taste. It is actually tastier when we prepare it properly. But while the demand is low, it is more expensive. It is actually more economical in the long run though, as we have less medical expenses later on. When more people start eating it, it will naturally become cheaper because it is a simpler food with less processing and waste.

Our life is the same. When we only appreciate the \’sweetness\’, and throw away the rest in rubbish bins because we don\’t see its value, we may be wasting the most important part. And the part we throw away could have the greatest power for the sustainability of our life and our economy. It also takes more energy and resources to discard it. Better yet, the part we throw away is free.

So, what is it that we do not perceive?

Think of a life where we didn\’t actually sense we were missing anything there.

The secret is right there. The secret of a whole life.

Full Life-The Complete Life

When it\’s \’whole\’, it doesn\’t matter how big the whole is. It can expand simultaneously. It can still contain all the elements to sustain itself as a whole living being. Once it grows to a certain size, it can still live without some of the parts. Like plants can live after being eaten a little by birds or trees still thrive even after losing their leaves. But if we neglect the balance for a very long time, eventually it can start creating a fatal imbalance. Then it could become too complicated to get back into balance.

We don\’t have to go back to the Stone Age to find the wholeness. Wholeness exists right now. All we need do is look closely; look closely enough to really see.

When we start seeing our life as a whole and stop throwing away what nourishes our life the most, we start feeling more and more fulfilled without looking for \’things\’ to fill holes and dents of our life. Everything finally falls into place. We now understand the mechanism of our world in a very different way.

Yes, it is now time to learn how we can form (and find) this equilibrium constantly and manageably.

The real nourishing part of our life is what makes us feel good deep down. It is like the part of food that makes our body become healthy in the long-term. Feelings we experience in our everyday life are the real key to our long-term happiness. And there are feelings that make us feel more complete.

The happy faces we see when we give recognition to others. The pleasure we experience when we give presents to others. The affection we feel when we see our kids being happy. The encouragements we get when we feel our life is full of significance ..

Let us internalize these moments of our life totally and relish the flavour of our entire life. Then we will perceive how it is not so imperative to constantly fill our heart (and tummy!) with physical indulgences – those types of things that only increase our cravings afterwards.

We can actually feel this joy, gratitude and love in order to experience the life as a whole at any moment regardless of the situations. It is not about what we see, what we hear or what we do that complete our life as a whole. It is about what we \’choose to\’ feel about our life.

Yes, our life indeed is already complete.

When we begin acting based on this awareness, we can have real mastery over the balance creation – lasting physical wellbeing, riches, nourishing bond and joy.

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This collection of beautiful quotes that will inspire you to awaken your curiosity about the mystery of life is excerpted from \”ONE\”, a book by Masami Sato, the founder of Buy1GIVE which is a global giving organisation sharing the joy of giving. The quotes in this first edition include topics that are profoundly related to our everyday lives, such as mystery, judgment and connection. This article is the first part of the 3 \”ONE Book Life-Changing Quotes Series\”.

On transforming judgment

\”Judgment often has very little relation to reality.\”

\”Actions and words don\’t always accurately reflect who we are. Every single one of us has had the experience of wanting to undo what we did or said.\”

On the mystery of life

\”It\’s very, very clear that we don\’t need to know all of the \’hows\’ and \’whys\’ of life to keep living on this planet.\”

\”There are so many things we don\’t understand in life. In spite of that lack of understanding though, we often enjoy experiencing those things.\”

\”Seeing is important but trying to figure out everything isn\’t necessary.\”

\”The scientists are not here to reveal the \’truth\’ because we are here to seek it forever. They are actually here to complicate the game (of life) so that we can have more questions and enjoy the game longer.\”

Connection

\”Connection is the core of everything. That\’s what life is. Connection.\”

\”Every single thing we do is to satisfy the need for connection.\”

\”We cannot feel unhappy when we are feeling totally connected. It\’s impossible!\”

\”We are designed to constantly seek ways to connect to each other and to a greater purpose.\”

\”\’solutions\’ coming from fear and doubt may not be the most effective ways. We end up feeling more and more disconnected from each other.\”

\”We can only truly celebrate the victory with others when we win together. Then we feel connected.\”

\”This is the game called ONE. The aim of the game is to \’connect\’! We keep connecting until we all become ONE.

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An article was published in The New York Times named, \”Husk Power for India\”. Current, which is routinely available in the lives of most in industrialized nations, is an unimaginable luxury in out-of-the-way corners of emerging countries. What was once fodder for cattle is now used to produce current – rice husks.

Being brought up in the pastoral Bihar State, Manoj Sinha knew what it was like to be without light at night. Being an engineer with Intel Corporation he had all the competence to bring a lifelong idea to fruition. He led the creation of his power generation equipment from rice husks and other wastes from farms and now he sells power to rural areas across India.

Sinha is what could be called a reformative businessman because he feels business is the answer to major social problems. \”Business leaders must realise that the world\’s poor need investments more than handouts,\” he says, adding, \”these are customers, not victims.\”

The article inspired me to think about giving in a different way leading me to ask myself, \”what is the most effective form of giving?\” Is it education, commercial activity or disaster relief? There are so many ways to make a difference. One way of giving can seem more effective or sustainable than other ways depending on the way it is expressed, looked at or implemented.

I then came to delineate there were eight segments to giving as a way to see this. So, let me chart out the eight differences; which in effect are often \’stages\’ of giving as well.

Phase one: Exigency – salvaging and helping others who are suffering due to natural calamities, epidemic diseases or other insurmountable problems.

Phase two: Respite – providing respite from enduring need, poverty, ill-health, disadvantages or prejudice which otherwise would continue or deteriorate because of the lack of awareness, training or resources.

Stage three: Healing and protection – mentally, physically and emotionally. Many people carry traumas that may be invisible but severely limiting their lives. Giving the healing to release the deep-rooted pain creates more opportunities for them while giving suitable protection gives them a sense of security.

Stage four: Education – giving better education, information and skill training to create empowered and creative solutions to resource generation while supporting individuals to discover their unique talent to thrive.

Stage five: Inspired investment – giving a help, capital or resources to those who have great talent to alter the situation. This gets used many times as the resources become more and passed on to other people who again produce more out of the prospects given.

Stage six: Sustainability – working together involving the people in the local environment, creating sustainable community – environmentally and socially.

Phase seven: Empowerment – enabling and motivating the people to release their true ability and power to make a change. In this group of sharing, the aim of giving changes from \’giving to the people who want\’ to \’giving people a chance to give to others\’ and to the society.

Stage eight: Cherishing – just doing whatever we like to do to tend and care for others. No approach or expected upshot exists in this stage of offering. \’Giving\’ does not even exist here in the physical sense of the word, as there is no sense of owning or decision or craving to modify things. This is where we do not even have to consider anything, we give out of a sense of our own fulfilling sensations.

What we also find is that at each of these eight stages of giving there are different things that the giver receives.

One: Sense of connection

Two: Sense of well being

Three: Relief from pain (our own)

Four: Gratitude for our own knowledge, skills and circumstances

Five: Long-term sense of involvement and fulfillment for our own life

Six: Better ambiance for our own life and for the lives of others we treasure and revere

Seven: Soul fulfilling inspiration and dedication to our own purpose

Eight: Care

Sharing has many stages and sensations based upon the donor and getter. And the \’phases\’ do not detail which one is of more importance than the other. All are mandatory.

I was lucky to have an experience early in 2008 while journeying with a group of devoted entrepreneurs across India to see how we could be more productive in our helping. I was particularly happy to have one outstanding encounter that led me to think about what \’actual giving\’ really meant.

We were travelling in a small town one day. Four of us had just called a taxi to take us to another nearby town. We dealt with the driver cautiously as our hotel staff had forewarned us about the possible swindle when they see that we were not local.

We halted briefly in front of the local train station for a short recess on the way. While the others went to use the restroom, I tried to chat with our taxi driver standing near his vehicle. With his limited knowledge of English and a wonderful smile that showed his blackened front teeth, he told me that he had a house on the suburbs of the town and he had a sweet wife and two lovely kids who went to the local school – I felt a strong bonding with him.

I appreciated the fact of his having such a wonderful family and told him that I too had two little ones of almost the same ages as his. When the others were back the driver suddenly invited us to come to his house and have lunch. I took it only as a formality that was customary courtesy. But after taking us to the town center and leaving us there, he told us that he would wait for us until all our wandering in the town was over. And he really did. I was actually quite astonished to see him still remaining glued to the side of the road next to his taxi more than one hour later. We got into the taxi and he drove fast up the road to where he had his family.

When we reached there we were really quite taken aback to see how he was living. It was more or less similar (if not worse) to the standard of people dwelling in slums we had visited before. From the gleaming new taxi he was driving, who could have thought this

As he reached the narrow open street in between shanties that were made with rough concrete blocks and mud walls, we felt guilty about accepting his invitation. For a brief moment I was nonplussed. \”How could I accept the hospitality of this man who didn\’t seem to have anything at all and I didn\’t even bring any gift that could be a help to his family\”, I told myself.

As we got into his house, we saw a small pot and a stove on the mud floor. His shy sweet wife smiled and blushed at the sight of visitors and vanished into the cupboard sized storeroom of the house. As I looked around, I saw the man\’s neighbours giving the woman a few cups over the crumbling concrete walls. They simply didn\’t have enough cups in their house. There was just a single small room that had a lone cot and an old galvanised trunk adjacent to it.

The cab driver swiftly took out three hand-woven rugs from the galvanised box and placed it neatly on the small space of the mud floor keeping one on the bed.

Soon the cups of tea and some snacks arrived. All his children and children from the neighborhood came to see us and stood in the doorway. All six of us were totally squashed in the tiny room. I curiously asked him where all his children were sleeping. I thought they probably had another space somewhere. To my surprise, he cheerfully pointed the chest and said it was their bed with his beaming smile.

He gleefully told us that he was a dancing champion in town and pointed to some trophies on the shelf above the bed. Keen to show us his dancing skills he suddenly dashed outside. From nowhere music filled the tiny room. He didn\’t have any music system in the house, it was coming from outside. I was curious so I stood up to see him reversing his taxi right against the back wall of his house with the doors wide open with car radio on full volume!

With his dancing and the cups of tea his wife produced, time moved quickly and it was soon time to thank them for their wonderful hospitality and proceed on our way. As we got up to leave and give our thanks to him and his wife, he took the best of the rugs he had, rolled it and gave it to us. It was practically one of the handfuls of good things he had. It was difficult to comprehend the enormity of the gesture.

We all respectfully refused his gift and came out saying goodbye to everyone waving at us. We got perplexed about this whole thing. Should we have offered some cash to the family as they obviously had limited means? Should we have agreed to take his wonderful gift?

As I was thinking about this life-changing experience a few days later, I thought about the refusal of his gift. He looked disappointed that we didn\’t take the gift. It wasn\’t just about saying no to the gift that stuck in my mind.

I realised that the sense of discomfort I felt was actually coming from perceiving him as less fortunate. I was thinking that I couldn\’t possibly take anything from someone who had so little.

But did he really have so little? Maybe he had more – a lot more.

Maybe the perfect gift we could have given him then was to accept his gift in total surrender and gratefulness.

Every act of sharing and taking are indispensable for us to fill our world with profusion and satisfaction in equal measure for both sharer and taker. We can start doing this instead of evaluating and validating one over another. The beautiful act of sharing and taking requires no additional elucidation.

Manoj Sinha\’s words resound in my mind once again, \”these are customers, not victims.\” I can visualise the eager faces of the village people who are now thrilled to have current in their hamlets and their little ones who now can now read and write and learn even at night.

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All of us have dreams. But all of us do not have faith in ourselves so that we can have those dreams and live them in our lifetime. In fact, the secret to have such assuredness is simple. And the reason why we hesitate so much is also straightforward.

Let\’s begin with the first question that we can ask ourselves

Why don\’t we do everything we always wanted to do?

Often, our thinking stops our actions. Often the more we think about it, the less we usually are committed to achieve what we originally wanted to do. Often the more we think about something, we come up with a greater number of reasons for not doing it.

Then is it possible to be certain that we will definitely accomplish what we want to do in our life?

Yes, definitely! For a start, let us look at the power of habits..

If we have to be present at a meeting tomorrow night, we would not be spending too much of time thinking whether we would be able to get there or not. We would not be worried about the possibility of having a car accident and failing to attend the meeting. In fact, when we go to use the toilet, we are unlikely to worry if it might be out of order.

We have so much more certainty about these types of \’normal\’ actions we take every day. They\’re habits.

However, we are doubtful about our dreams

The interesting part is that there are several things that we are not very sure about. These are the things that we really want to do in our lives – our Dreams!

So, what is the secret for the assurance that we will realize our dreams?

First: Decide to make it a daily habit!

We can start being more certain about our actions to meet our desires-the type of desires that really nourishes our life.

For example, if a person\’s dream is to make his fair share of contributions to the society, and giving is a big yearning in his life, there is no need to doubt the possibility of being able to make that contribution. Al that is necessary is to make it a daily habit.

Second: Make it as important (and as easy) as brushing our teeth

Making a dream come true can be just like cleaning the teeth. It gives a very uncomfortable feeling if teeth are not brushed for a long time, isn\’t it? Nobody spends hours thinking which brand of toothpaste to use or postpone brushing till there is some specific need to show clean teeth. We feel ill at ease with teeth that are not clean. So we just clean them. It is as simple as that.

Coming back to our example, if giving is so important to us, we have to ask ourselves certain questions: What if giving is in fact of as much importance as brushing our teeth? What if it is making us feel good? What if it is helping to maintain our health?

Irrespective of how much or how little we own right now, we surely can start offering it and sharing it today. As such, no matter how improbable the realisation of dreams might appear, we can start walking towards them today. We can definitely do, if we see it as a crucial issue, a top priority that we should stick to every day! Then we will be uncomfortable if we do not do it. Just like cleaning our teeth.

and Third: Give first, then we will get

When we give first before we actually fully have what we really want – what we dream of – we send a very powerful message to ourselves that says, \”there is enough, and more will come\”. It allows us to experience the joy today – the joy of giving.

If you want to be wealthy, be munificent. Then you are sure to be blessed with abundance. If you are intelligent enough to do so, do not hesitate to teach others. Then you will learn more. If you feel like giving, just give the whole of you. And do it without expecting anything in return. Just let go. The act of giving is its own reward. The simple satisfaction of giving.

So do not be hesitant to dole out and share what you have, for it will not prevent you from achieving your purpose, whatever it is. It will only help you to realise your dreams more easily. And your journey through that path would be full of joy.

But are not habits very small, when compared to our BIG dreams?

Just do it, don\’t worry about the \’scale\’

Because anything is possible in life. We might start things in a small way. And these small things will always take us to another action, and another. Having certainty in our small actions and executing them one by one always takes us forward. But if we thought it was \’impossible\’ to do something now because it just seemed \’too big\’, it will never happen.

The secret to achieve your dreams has always been here, and will always be here. The people who create miracles, inspirations, and the real sense of joy, already know this. They are always using it.

Dreams and miracles are not accidents. We create them through our choices.

So, are you likely to start moving towards your dreams today?

Contents are excerpted with minor modification from ONE, a book written by Masami Sato. To get a free copy of ONE, visit www.B1G1.com and start sharing the joy of giving. Feel free to use or republish the content of the above article, fully or partially, as long as it is preserved in its original content, with proper attribution to Masami Sato and www.B1G1.com.

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